Where I work we have a few regular customers who come in almost once a week. They are best friends! Sweetest ladies ever!! They normally come in with different children each time as well as a few of the same ones. A couple of weeks ago I decided to ask --- Where they all there children/grand children? NO, they are both foster parents! Who are best friends and are helping each other take care of these kids who have been through physical, mental and sexual abuse.
This past week one of the ladies came in by herself. So I asked where her friend was. Her response. You remember the little girl she had a few weeks ago and went home? My response with a gasp I said yes. Well, turns out the friend was on the way to pick up the little girl from Child Services again!!! I was almost in tears when she said and the mother who was found passed out on drugs left her with the new boy friend. The new boy friend raped the little girl.
I just stood there in awe trying not to break down. All I could say is what is wrong with the system. I started thinking about my past. After the physical abuse of being thrown down a flight of stairs, beat with a weight belt, locked in my bedroom for hours, told I was nothing and never would be, sexual abused and lots more that will blow you away --- all by a man my mother married. Who threatened if I told he would kill the 2 most important women in my life --- my grandmother and mother. Who had everyone fooled that he was a good church going man who believed in the word of God. Took us to church every single Sunday. We "lived" the perfect life in everyone eyes we were around. And I wonder what is wrong with the system!!! That's why!! Because you can't tell who the good and the bad are anymore! This lady who came into the shop said the mother had to attend a program and she fooled everyone so this little girl was given back --- and now because her mother is ok this little girl will live the rest of her life in and out of foster homes, looking at every in a different light, fearing what is next until she finds out who she is --- SO MUCH MORE!!! One day she will be thankful for the ones who took her in and loved her.
This is one of the reasons I started this blog and this conversation with this customer made me think -- this is why you need to tell your story. There is someone out there going through how you have felt for years. How on some days you think you see this person in the rear view mirror and your heart starts racing from fear. How you try to say I forgive you but I never will forget! How you protect your very own children. Why you shut down on harder days. These are real feelings that when you have been through these struggles that build that strength! Having faith, family, friends and not in my case but in the little girls case a loving foster parent who takes you in an shows you what love really is!!! Helps you find find you!! Gives you the space to grow! Supports you!! Tells you that you are a person who is of worth! Hugs you!!
Remember EVERYONE is SO MUCH MORE then a mother, father, husband, wife, brother, sister, friend, aunt, uncle, friend, niece, nephew, boss, employee, child, adult!!! We ALL have feelings and hurt in different ways.
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